As I said earlier, I’d always considered myself a ‘christian’, all my life up to about 27 years old. I hadn’t been a goody 2 shoes by any stretch of ones imagination. In fact quite the opposite on occasion! Then I read ‘The Holy Blood and The Holy Grail’, and certain things fell into place. I’d had this particular book for many years, but never got round to reading it. I tried, but always put it down. When I did finally read it, I couldn’t put it down.. It was so well written and researched that I thought to myself these people need to be considered seriously! They’re intelligent and have some very good evidence that suggests what I’m being told in church isn’t really all that kosher (pardon the pun!).

I guess I experienced a reverse of Saul’s conversion. The scales fell from my eyes and I realised the church, from my point of view, was a big fat lie. Everything I’d been brought up to believe was true didn’t make sense anymore. It was a gradual process, something this big, effectively my whole way of life, was being brought into question. I did have a ‘see the light’ moment when I thought ‘Oh f**k it’s all too much what am I going to do’. I felt very let down and critical towards the church.

I don’t have a problem with people’s beliefs and faiths, but I do have a problem when lies are told just for control. It was quite worrying at first, but when I’d sorted things out in my head, I realised I was probably more spiritual and had a better understanding of the actual nature of religion, not necessarily the faith aspect.